Telling someone you like them is a very nerve-wracking experience.
Should I tell them?
Should I not?
Nah, they probably won’t feel the same.
…But what if they do?!!
An avalanche of thoughts and fears and worst-case scenarios will flood your mind before you decide to either take a chance and tell them, or forget about it and keep your feelings to yourself.
I’ve been there too. For many years, I kept many of my crushes to myself because I was paralyzed by the fear of rejection or what the other person might think of me if I revealed that I was into them.
But if you never try, how will you ever know?
I believe that it’s worth it to be brave and share your feelings with someone you like (if the context allows for it and if they’re available of course)!
No matter how scary it is, if you always let your fears stop you from letting someone know that you have feelings for them, not only will you drive yourself nuts thinking of all the what-ifs, but you might miss out on a chance to actually have a beautiful relationship with this person. You’ll never know until you try!
Here are some ways you can mentally prepare yourself to share your feelings with someone you like!
1. Remember that you only live once
In life, you get no reward if you put in no risk. The same definitely applies to dating.
It’s perfectly normal to be terrified of being rejected by someone you like. Maybe it has happened to you in the past and that experience has scarred you. But you can’t let those past experiences define you. If you don’t try to put yourself out there again, you will never know what could have been!
When I was in high school, telling a guy I liked him was absolutely out of the question. It’s just not something I did. For one, I thought it made more sense if the guy asked first (even though as a young woman now, I know it’s perfectly okay for girls to make the first move). I also had zero confidence back then. I didn’t believe that any of the guys I liked would ever be interested in an awkward bookworm like me!
The funny thing though is I befriended one of those guys years later. After I shared my teenage crush with him, he told me he felt the same way but was also too scared to tell me!
Do you see where I’m going with this?
Life is short. So, shoot your shot, live with no regrets and take more chances. You never know what could happen!
2. Think of all the great reasons that person needs you in their life
You may be afraid to tell someone you like them because you think they’re “too good” for you or they’re out of your league.
But are they good enough for YOU??
Turn it around and ask yourself that question. Too often, we stress ourselves out, thinking of all the ways we need to prove to someone that we’re perfect for them. We don’t even ask ourselves if that person is right for us!
Remind yourself of all the things you love about yourself and that make you an awesome human being. Then, ask yourself if that person is “worthy” of receiving those traits in their life. Do they deserve your great sense of humour that guarantees that no day with you will ever be boring? Do they deserve to experience your kindness and empathy that will allow you to be a great listener and support for them?
So, consider these questions and take some pressure off yourself. This will help you be more at ease when you finally let that person know how you feel!
3. Remember that rejection is redirection
Another great way to prepare yourself to tell someone you like them is to come to terms with the idea of rejection.
Not everyone is for us.
Rejection is a part of life. It’s bad. It hurts our feelings, but it happens. But
However! It doesn’t have to be the end of the world.
Instead, look at it as a form of redirection. It will bring you one step closer to the person that IS right for you.
Taking the discomfort around rejection out of the picture will help you reach out to that person with more ease. You’ll then realize that no matter the outcome, you’ll be okay!
4. Build your confidence
Telling someone you like them takes a boatload of confidence so naturally to do that, you need to show up as your most confident self (even if you are not there yet).
Start incorporating small habits into your daily life to help you build your confidence and self-esteem. Recite positive affirmations to remind yourself of all the qualities you have and all the reasons why you are enough as you are.
Practice self-care and start showing more love for yourself by treating yourself to small presents and doing nice things for yourself.
Take better care of your physical and mental health by exercising more and journaling (because real confidence and self-love come from the inside out). For me, when I started to exercise regularly, I felt stronger, more empowered and like I could literally do anything!
By taking better care of yourself and raising your self-confidence, you will show up as a more self-assured and authentic person. As a result, asking that person out won’t feel so scary.
5. Don’t take it so seriously
There is already so much pressure on you before you tell someone you like them so it helps if in that moment you don’t take yourself too seriously.
Don’t be afraid to be goofy or awkward in your delivery. After all, you’re human and there is no perfect way to reveal your feelings to a crush. Incorporating some humor (self-deprecating or not) will help loosen the mood a little bit and help you feel more at ease. No matter the outcome, it might even make your crush laugh too!
Sharing your feelings with that special person can be really scary. However, if you take the time to mentally prepare yourself and not take it too seriously, you will be much more at ease and confident and no matter the outcome of the conversation, you will be okay!
