It’s funny how the simple act of going out alone can feel like the most difficult task sometimes.
For one, as a full-fledged introvert, I don’t like to go out. My house is quite literally my sanctuary and my safe place.
On the other hand, going out requires a lot of energy for me because of my anxiety. Due to this, I literally have to mentally prepare myself to go out and I tend to not enjoy spontaneous plans to go out with friends or family.
This applies not only to going out at night to parties or events but also during the day to run simple errands or visit people. I’m sure many of you can relate as well.
Why am I so anxious to go out by myself?
There are many reasons why you might feel anxious to go out alone.
1. Social anxiety
Going out can often feel like a big task for those of us who struggle with social anxiety.
For instance, when I go out, I try to avoid hanging around big crowds because they make me feel overwhelmed and overstimulate my nervous system. You may also feel at times like everyone around you is watching you and picking apart the way you act or what you’re wearing.
2. Past traumatic experiences
If you have ever had a traumatic event happen to you when you were out, it could explain why you’re not a fan of going out alone.
This could include a previous accident or assault of any kind. If that’s the case, remember that this is normal and you need to give yourself grace. To help you overcome this fear, consider doing some self-reflection with a journal or seeking some help from a therapist.
3. You don’t trust your surroundings
If you are not very good at finding your way around, it is totally normal for you to be a bit worried when you go out alone. Maybe you are afraid you might get lost or run into some shady individuals. I think this is especially relatable for women who don’t like to go out by themselves.
Sadly (or not, depending on who you ask), those of us who don’t love to go out can’t simply live our lives in the cozy comfort of our homes without ever having to step outside.
Thankfully, over the years, I’ve found some simple ways to make going out a little less stressful for me. I hope you find these helpful as well!
7 Simple Ways to Go Out Alone With Anxiety
1. Have your Google Maps handy
Some of us are just not great with directions. Even if you have lived in one city for most of your life or many years, for some reason you just can’t find your way around without a little help (I’m guilty of this).
That is where your handy Google Maps comes in!
Make sure that you have access to Google Maps or some other way to easily get directions. This will help you feel a bit more at ease whenever you go out alone and worry about getting lost.
It is also helpful if you can find a landmark like a building or a store to help you find your way around, especially around places that you visit often.
2. Have a fun playlist or podcast to listen to
Before going out, I always make sure to have something interesting to listen to as I’m moving around and running my errands.
I usually have a playlist of my current favourite songs or an entertaining podcast to listen to. I’m a big fan of personal development podcasts so I’m really into On Purpose with Jay Shetty at the moment.
This helps me feel more relaxed and helps me take my mind off everything that is happening around me.
3. Reward yourself with a treat
Whenever I am out, if I have the time, I always make sure to treat myself to something. Since I love food, it’s usually ice cream or a pastry or snack from a bakery that I like.
Not only does this feel like a nice reward after having gone out successfully, but it also gives me something to look forward to when I’m planning the different things I need to do when I go out.
4. Bring a friend if you can
If you don’t like to go out alone, why not bring a friend?
Check in with your friends, see who is available and plan something.
Whether or not you have errands to run, bringing a friend will help you feel calmer because you will have someone to talk to and spend time with. This will also distract you from your fears about being outside and will help you get out of your head and be more present
5. Have a clear plan of what you need to do
It’s very helpful to make a plan and have a clear to-do list before you leave the house by yourself.
I like to write brief notes on what I need to do in the Notes app on my phone. You could do that too or write in a planner–whatever works best for you.
This helps you feel more in control of your day and what you’re going to do. That way, as soon as you are done with your list, you can just come back home.
Of course, sometimes things don’t always go according to plan. Maybe you need to add an impromptu task to your list or a store that you wanted to visit ends up being closed on that day. In those cases, stay calm and do your best to adapt and be flexible about the situation.
6. Make sure your phone is charged
Always make sure that your phone is charged before you go out alone!
Some of the things I mentioned above require your phone to function well so they wouldn’t be possible if your phone died a few hours after you leave the house would they?
So make sure your phone is charged so you can easily find directions if you need to locate a certain place or you get lost while you’re out. Having your phone charged and ready to go is also great if you end up needing to call a friend or relative for whatever reason. Although for this, it’s also useful if you can memorize important phone numbers from family or a few close friends.
7. Cut yourself some slack
It’s not easy to go out alone when you have anxiety. So if you go out and after a while you decide that you’re not comfortable and you would rather stay home, that’s fine. Give yourself some grace and try again next time.
Sometimes, you might really not be in the mood to go at all and that’s also normal. We all have those days. Be kind to yourself and remember that you can always try again another time. As long as you keep making an effort and apply some practical steps, eventually going out alone won’t be such a stressful task for you after all.
Final Thoughts
Going out by yourself can be a bit scary if you struggle with anxiety but it doesn’t have to be. I hope the suggestions above help you as much as they help me!
