If you’re a young woman who struggles to love and accept her body, this post is for you.
For a long time, I did not love my body.
There were times when I looked in the mirror and felt a bit disgusted by what I saw. Because of that, I even avoided mirrors altogether. I would focus on all the things about myself that I didn’t like like how thin I was or the acne scars that just never seemed to go away.
Today, I can confidently say that I am fully in love with my body.
Do I have a perfect relationship with it? Nope.
It’s not perfect. There are days when I still overthink how certain parts look but at the end of the day, I have a beautiful relationship with my body. I feel very grateful for it and I make a point to celebrate it in any way I can every day.
The focus of this post is not so much how to love your body but how to accept it and be grateful for it so you can have a loving relationship with it. I will be sharing the steps I took to get more comfortable in my own skin and finally learn to love and accept myself.
Why am I struggling to love my body?
Self-image issues or bullying
Were you bullied as a child? Did other kids or other adults mock you for your chubby cheeks, your tummy or your small arms? That might be a reason why as an adult, you feel very insecure about some parts of your body.
Constant comparison to others
Every day we are hit left and right with images of “perfect” bodies that get so much attention and likes. It’s very easy to feel bad about how you look if you don’t necessarily fit those exact beauty standards.
Past trauma
Maybe you’ve experienced a past traumatic experience that has left you feeling very uncomfortable in your own skin and struggling to be okay with your body. In this case, I highly recommend reaching out to someone you trust or even a therapist to talk about it so you can come up with ways for you to heal from that experience.
Struggling to adapt to normal changes
Our bodies change as we age. It’s a fact of life.
You may not be able to lose weight as easily as you used to. You may develop skin conditions that you never had before. It’s understandable if you are struggling to love your body as a result of these changes.
What I Did to Learn to Appreciate My Body
1. Embrace your “flaws”
A big part of accepting and ultimately loving your body is to embrace the parts of yourself that you view as flawed.
For example, for a long time, I struggled to accept my figure.
I have a more athletic build and I’m not as curvy as some other girls. I used to feel like it made me look more boyish and less feminine. I thought because of that guys wouldn’t find me attractive.
Now, I have learnt to accept my figure and be proud of it. I am grateful for it because it reminds me how strong and healthy I am.
There are plenty of different figures for women out there and each of them has its own beauty.
So whether you are short, tall, have freckles, stretch marks, whatever it is, accept it. Celebrate it because it tells a story.
If you had a baby and you still have some stretch marks or a little bit of extra fat somewhere, don’t bash yourself for it. Instead, be proud of yourself because you did this amazing, absolutely badass thing of bringing a human into the world!!
If you have scars on your body that you’re insecure about, don’t be because they’re a testament to your strength and the injuries you’ve overcome.
2. Celebrate the parts that you already love
Even if you struggle with body image issues, I know there are some parts of you that you absolutely LOVE.
For example, I LOVE my eyes and beautiful, toned legs.😉
It’s not bragging or being cocky. It’s giving yourself permission to appreciate and elevate the parts of your body that you already love. Even as you’re working to accept the parts of yourself that you may not love so much at the moment.
3. Thank your body for what it does for you every day
When you think about it and I mean reeally think about it, there is so much about your body that you should be grateful for.
The fact that you can see and hear.
Being able to smile and laugh out loud.
Being strong and healthy enough to run, walk and run errands or dance and jump.
Being able to taste and enjoy delicious food.
If you focus on everything that you think is wrong with your body and forget all the amazing things it does for you, here is something I did that helped me.
Sit in front of your mirror and thank every part of your body for what it does for you.
- Thank your legs for carrying you to work or school everyday.
- Your mouth for allowing you to enjoy all your favorite treats.
- If you’re a mom, thank your hips for helping you carry a human being for 9 months.
When I did this, I got very emotional because I had spent so long fighting against my own body. But it also felt very liberating.
There is so much that our bodies do for us every single moment of everyday. So stop being so angry and mean to yours. Instead, be thankful for it and show it the love and appreciation it deserves.
4. Celebrate your body through movement
Movement is one of the best ways to honor and love your body.
So find a hobby that keeps you active and allows you to have fun at the same time! For me, it’s going to my weekly dance class and doing some simple home workouts.
Ever since I started to be consistent with exercising and moving my body regularly, I began to feel more powerful and more comfortable in my own skin.
5. Affirmations, affirmations, affirmations!
Every morning or night (or whenever you feel like it really), recite some affirmations to speak out some positive energy about your body.
Remind yourself that you are safe in your body. Tell yourself that you are grateful for everything it does for you, that you are enjoying the process of learning to be comfortable in your own skin and that you are more than enough.
6. Stop comparing yourself to others
Comparing yourself to others is useless because you don’t know how they came to have the body that they have.
You may envy some women for how curvy they look when maybe they are dealing with a health condition that caused them to gain some extra weight (that they may or may not be desperately trying to lose).
Some people may have really beautiful cheekbones and defined traits because they got some cosmetic procedures done (which is perfectly fine btw).
My point is, you don’t always know what’s going on in other people’s lives. Things are not always as they seem. A seemingly “perfect” picture on Instagram doesn’t tell the full story of a person’s life and the same applies to how they look as well.
So ignore everyone else and focus on yourself and the little steps that you can take to feel better about yourself FOR YOU, regardless of what anyone else is doing.
7. Unfollow any accounts that don’t serve you
There are plenty of people on social media who love to flaunt their super-fit bodies on holidays or while they’re just out living their best lives.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. Hey, I’ve done it before!
But sometimes, it can be very triggering to see depending on the insecurities that you may be dealing with.
If you have a flabby tummy, and you keep seeing pictures of girls with flat tummies and 6-pack abs, eventually it’s going to take a toll on your confidence.
If that happens, don’t be afraid to take drastic measures and unfollow these accounts. When you think about it, you actually don’t have to subject yourself to this. So unfollow some accounts or even better yet take a break from social media every once in a while.
I used to take monthly breaks from Instagram until recently I decided to delete the app completely. I log in once in a while to check messages from some people but besides that, I’ve significantly reduced the amount of time I spend on it. It has done wonders for my mental health and my ability to focus and be more present.
Can I learn to love my body?
Yes!
As young women, we tend to be very tough on ourselves when it comes to appreciating, accepting and loving our bodies. All the societal expectations of what a “perfect” body looks like and our personal insecurities don’t help at all.
But it is possible to learn to fully appreciate your body.
For one, stop seeking external validation.
Give it to yourself instead!
This may take some time but with patience and by being kind to yourself every day, you can learn to be grateful for the body that you have and learn to celebrate it for everything that it does for you.
