Speaking with confidence is key if you want to be taken seriously in life
It doesn’t matter if it’s voicing your needs to a partner or sharing ideas in a work setting. It’s important to express yourself with assertiveness so people actually listen to you and see the value in your words.
As a soft-spoken and rather introverted person, I’ve struggled with this most of my life. It’s only in recent years that I’ve truly realized the importance of speaking with confidence and that I’ve actually started to implement this in my life.
The following tips are some that I have gathered from mentors or speakers that I admire in my personal life. I also included things that I have done and been commended for that have helped me become a more confident speaker. If you are ready to do the same, read on!
Also, feel free to check out some positive affirmations I came up with to help calm your anxiety before any social situation!
1. Remember your voice has value
Every single human being has value and their experiences have meaning regardless of whether someone else agrees or not. The simple fact that you experienced something and it impacted you in some way means it has some form of value.
A few years ago, I was asked to speak on a panel to share my experiences as an international student in the US. I was a bit nervous because I didn’t really think I had anything special to share. However, my friend who came with me told me something that has stayed with me ever since:
Your experiences are YOUR truth, no matter what anyone thinks about them.
I say this because too often we minimize the value of our voice and our stories because we don’t see the value in them. We feel like nobody will care and so we’re scared to speak up, we keep quiet or if we do try to speak up, it’s not really convincing.
If you’re worried that whatever you have to say is not important, or doesn’t bring much to a conversation, remember that your ideas, and your experiences are unique and they deserve to be shared with the world! Stand strong in who you are, recognize the value in your words and share them when necessary!
If you feel the need to share something and you truly feel that it could make a difference in even one person’s life, share it. You never know who you might inspire!
2. Practice & Ask for Feedback
Talking with confidence takes practice. You’re not going to magically become a better speaker overnight.
That’s why as uncomfy as it might feel, you need to practice over and over again.
Watch Youtube videos of people who are respected speakers or who give advice on the topic. Practice how to speak like they do while adding your own individual flair to it.
And you know what helps even more? Asking for feedback!
So instead of recording yourself and having to decide for yourself, ask a family member or a trusted friend to evaluate the effectiveness of the way you talk and give you tips on how you can improve.
3. Add more firmness to your tone
People who speak with more confidence tend to have more firmness in their voice.
You can’t speak with a squeaky voice and have your points sound more like questions rather than actual statements.
If you have a naturally soft or high-pitched voice, practice incorporating more of that into your voice. Check out this useful article with tips to help you improve your vocal tone. This is especially useful in situations where you need to be taken seriously like at work or when you’re defending your points in an argument with someone.
Do your research and find out how you can learn to speak with a firmer tone. Watch YouTube videos and see how other people do it. I naturally have a pretty high-pitched voice so this is something I’ve gradually worked on and improved over the years.
4. Put yourself in situations where you have no choice but to speak confidently
This goes along with the point about practicing.
In order to learn to speak more confidently, not only do you need to practice but you also need to put yourself in situations where you are “forced” to speak with confidence.
As a graduate student, I had to give a lot of presentations in class. Way more than I was comfortable with, to be honest.
As a result, I had to learn to articulate my points clearly for an audience and keep them engaged. The more I did this, the more confident I became when I spoke. My peers and professors noticed and encouraged me to give even more presentations. More and more people (including myself tbh) realized that I had a talent for public speaking and I stood out in my program because of that.
So whether it’s at networking events, class presentations, or going out on more dates, push yourself out of your comfort zone when it comes to talking with more confidence. The more you do this, the more you’ll improve and soon it’ll be second nature to you!
5. Have hobbies and personal interests that you can talk about
I have noticed that people who are very knowledgeable and have a lot of ideas to share have a unique way of speaking. They have more conviction and passion in their voice which makes people take them more seriously. This gives them more credibility because other people believe that they know what they are talking about and are instantly drawn to them!
When you talk about something that understand well or truly believe in, it’s a lot easier to speak confidently because you have no reason to doubt yourself.
Confidence comes to you naturally. You know that you know your stuff and you don’t need somebody to validate or even confirm what you’re saying. (Note: this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be open to questions or constructive comments–these are always welcome and could even increase your knowledge or inspire you even more!)
When I tell people about my blog, it never feels difficult because I know that I have worked hard to learn what it takes to run a successful blog and I am always ready to share that with others.
That’s why you need to spend time learning about different things, engaging in different hobbies and developing your knowledge. Not only does this make you a more well-rounded person in general, but it’ll help you have fun, valuable things to share with people in conversations.
6. Let go of others’ expectations
Your voice is yours and there is beauty and value in it no matter what anyone has to say about it.
Take me as an example. I am a soft-spoken person. Have been my whole life and probably always will be. When I was younger, I always thought that people who sound like me can’t possibly command respect when they speak. But the older I get, the more I realize that’s not true.
I have observed countless relatives of mine and famous people who are quiet and soft-spoken like me but still have confidence and influence. Their words carry enormous weight and they are able to make themselves heard and impact people simply by being themselves.
You don’t have to be the loudest person in the room to have an impact. If you are a loud person, no shade to you at all btw!
But for the rest of us who feel small because we may not have the traditional attributes of confident speakers, don’t worry. You can still learn to make yourself heard the way you are by using the right strategies and optimizing your strengths.
For instance, I am also a rather slow speaker. Many people have complimented me on this because of how well it helps me to articulate my words and keep people focused on what I am saying.
I hope these tips will be helpful as you learn to speak more confidently! Let me know how you implement them in your life down below!
