Making friends in college can feel like a daunting task.
You’re in this brand new place with new people, far from home and everything that is familiar to you.
When I first got to college, I remember feeling quite overwhelmed about everything. My routine was different, my classes were different and more challenging and it all felt a bit lonely especially because I wasn’t too sure how to connect with those new people I was surrounded with.
However with time things got better. I put myself out there a little bit more and found my tribe.
Your college years should be a fun experience. It’s a time to learn yes but also form meaningful connections. If you’re in your first year of university or would just like some help to improve your social life, read on for 7 tips that helped me when I was in your shoes.
1. Relax, the right people WILL find you eventually
This is way easier said than done but it’s true.
When I first started grad school, I was soo worried about not meeting any nice people and the overall experience just being bad for me.
But 2 years later, in retrospect, I honestly feel kinda embarrassed because I literally worried for nothing . I did find my people and I didn’t even have to try that hard.
One of my best friends from grad school approached me at a social event at the beginning of the program. To be honest, I did not think much of our conversation. I didn’t expect to see her again but we kept running into each other and before I knew it, we were sitting together in almost every class, collaborating on schoolwork and even making plans outside of class!
The right people will find you eventually and it might even be sooner than you think. So have some patience!
Even if right now your friends situation is looking a little bleak in college, worry not. As long as you continue to put yourself out there consistently and stay positive, I promise you you will find your people.
2. But…don’t be afraid to make the first move!
This is how I made many of my best friends.
I am an introvert but I have moments when I genuinely enjoy striking up conversations and meeting new people.
I have leveraged that to find the courage to walk up to people, ask for their name and just start talking!
When you are trying to make new friends, you have to be proactive. People are busy and have their own things to worry about. You can’t always hope that they’ll be the ones to reach out.
So be curious about people and don’t be afraid to walk up to them to start a conversation no matter how scary it might feel. Sometimes this is what you need to do to meet the friends that are meant to enrich your life!
You could even break the ice with some of these funny questions to ask your friends.
All of us are scared to look stupid and embarrass ourselves. By making the first move, you might be putting someone else at ease who maybe also wanted to talk to you but didn’t know how to approach you!
3. Do well in class (obviously!)
When I was in college I noticed when people see that you know your stuff and you do really well in class, it makes them want to get to know you more because they want to learn from you.
I became friends with people who complimented me on my presentation skills in class or even vice versa with people that I approached because I needed help with class assignments.
So don’t be afraid to stand out academically in class. It may start with someone needing your advice for something lass-related but very soon, it could blossom into a great friendship. You never know!
4. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things
You can’t expect to make new friends from the comfort of your own home.
So gather up your strength and take specific steps to get out and meet people.
As a new international student at my grad school, I attended events where I could meet other international students and other people from my program.
I went to get-togethers organized by our department. I also went to mixers organized by different associations of international students.
All these events helped me explore my school’s social scene and make connections with familiar faces from my program.
I struggle with social anxiety and a bit of awkwardness so this was not easy for me. Maybe you can relate.
But it’s def necessary.
Remember, you will never achieve awesome things in life if you always let your fears hold you back!
5. At events, ACTUALLY make an effort to engage with others
So you’ve shown up at your first party…yay congrats!
Now be intentional about actually making the most of it.
Relax! Shake off your nerves and DECIDE that you’re going to have fun no matter what.
Smile often and have a light-hearted attitude!
You don’t want to come off with a negative energy about you and like you don’t actually want to be there (even if that’s actually true!). If your goal is to make some new friends, people will see it on your face and won’t even want to approach you!
And as tempting as it is, PLEASE PLEEAASE don’t spend all your time on your phone checking imaginary messages! I know you know what I’m talking about…we’ve all been there!
6. Leverage your USP to engage with people
Do you know what else can help you make friends with new people at any event?
Your unique selling point! AKA your superpower.
That thing you’re really good at. That thing all your friends know you and love you for.
Use that to your advantage!
You can def have multiple but here’s mine for example.
I LOVE to dance. I may feel a bit nervous before going to parties but as long as there’s good music and good people, you’ll find me on the dance floor!
People know me for that and they know that I will for sure bring a fun time if we’re going out together. I’ve also made friends by spontaneously dancing with random people at parties or with people noticing my “skills” (
) and inviting me to dance with them. One thing leads to another, we find out we have things in common and VOILA!
Really at the end of the day, it’s all about being true to yourself, having fun and being in the moment.
If you’re a really funny person, bring your sense of humour to conversations.
If you’re super passionate about music or food, talk about that with people.
If you love to dance like me, bust some moves on the dance floor and do it with confidence. I promise, people will notice and they’ll applaud you for it (literally)!
7. Don’t stress about it
Remember to give yourself some grace and not put too much pressure on yourself.
If you’re a bit awkward or introverted putting yourself out there can feel like a huge step outside your comfort zone.
But no matter what, remember to be authentic and stay true to yourself. Your awkwardness is not something you should be ashamed of or try to hide.
Instead, just embrace it. Get comfortable with it, go out into the world and still be awesome in spite of it!
I hope you found this post inspiring. What other important tips would you add to this list? Let me know below!
