Why does texting have to be soo hard nowadays?
Or is it just me??
What used to feel like a simple way to communicate with people has turned way too complicated with ghosting, delayed responses and leaving people on read.
It can become an emotional rollercoaster for those of us with overthinking tendencies, especially in our friendships.
This is why I felt the need to write about this.
I have a lot of long-distance friendships with texting as the main form of communication. Finding a sustainable way to do it that works for all parties has been a tad challenging over the years.
So here are some things I have done to improve my texting game with friends so it brings me less anxiety and so we can continue to have healthy communication no matter what. If you’ve gone through similar issues, I hope these tips help you too!
1. Move the conversation to a phone or video call
This might be a tough one if you’re socially anxious or you’re just an introverted person who is not a huge fan of phone calls (like me!).
But sometimes, you have to compromise because some people, although they have good intentions, are just horrible texters.
So consider reducing text messages with this person and maybe scheduling more phone or video calls with them. It doesn’t have to be every day. But it also depends on your relationship with this person and how much contact you want to keep with them.
You could talk once a week, once every two weeks, you can figure out what works best for you.
If this person communicates better on calls, then it might just be what you need in order to have healthier, more authentic conversations with them that are less likely to make you overthink after.
2. Maintain open communication and ask questions!
If you don’t understand what someone means over text, don’t be afraid to ask them about it.
If you send a text that you need an answer to and they forget to do it even after texting you something else, kindly remind them. People do forget sometimes, especially if they lead busy lives.
If their response to something you sent feels off for whatever reason, check in with them about it.
Sometimes it can feel uncomfy to do because the people-pleaser in you doesn’t want to come off as difficult.
But I say if this is what you need to feel at peace in the conversation then just ask.
3. Don’t jump to conclusions!
Slow down and don’t believe everything you think!
Don’t overanalyze every emoji, punctuation mark or lack thereof.
If your friend ends a sentence with a period instead of an exclamation mark, it doesn’t automatically mean they are mad at you. Maybe they are busy or preoccupied with something else so they are not fully present in the conversation.
If their response to some happy news you shared with them doesn’t sound as excited as you’d expect, it doesn’t automatically mean they are bored with you. Maybe there is just something else on their mind.
And pleaseeee if they don’t respond immediately or for an extended period of time, DO NOT assume that they are ghosting you!
We are adults and we live very busy lives. Sometimes people honestly just forget. I’m writing this article and I will gladly admit that I’ve forgotten to respond to texts before.
It’s important to give people grace when it comes to this. That’s why you should not be afraid to reach out with a follow-up text after some time.
4. Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs when it comes to texting
Texting is very tricky especially if you rely on it to maintain long-distance relationships of any kind.
That’s why it’s very important to communicate your needs when it comes to texting.
One of my best friends lives in a different country and our main form of communication besides monthly calls is texting.
But for almost 3 months, I didn’t hear from him. Despite many attempts to reach out, he didn’t respond. Obviously, I became very worried.
Eventually, he responded and explained that he was going through some things and didn’t feel like talking to anyone. Although I sympathized with his situation, I expressed to him that next time, I would really appreciate it if he could give me some kind of heads up if possible. If it was anybody else I wouldn’t have cared. However, due to the nature of our relationship, I felt the need to say it.
So work with the person to find some way to maintain healthy communication over texts.
If that means texting 3 times a week to say hi, let them know.
If texting is too difficult to sustain, consider incorporating phone calls as I mentioned above.
Moral of the story: texting your friends doesn’t have to be a stressful thing. I hope the above tips help you as much as they helped me!
