It can be scary to walk up to someone and start a conversation with them.
Especially since you don’t know how they’re going to take it.
Best case scenario, they’re super nice and they welcome the conversation. Worst case, they ignore you or act very cold and nonchalant and you’re left there feeling embarrassed for even walking up to them.
Being able to walk up to people and start a convo with them is an invaluable skill to have. Not only will it help you in your career when you’re trying to network with people but it will also help you a lot when trying to make friends or talk to romantic prospects too!
Not being afraid to make the first move is what has helped me make some of my bestest friends in the whole world! In this article, I will list the things that have helped me take the pressure off myself so I can confidently start a conversation with someone!
1. Compliment them
Who doesn’t love a compliment??
Personally, I LOOVE giving compliments to random people.
It just makes my day to say something nice to someone and make them smile. I know how nice it feels for me when someone gives me a compliment so I always like to do the same for others whenever I can.
If you meet someone at an event or a party and you think their outfit looks nice or they have really cool shoes…whatever it maybe, tell them!
It’s a nice way to start a conversation with them because your comment will most likely put them more at ease which will make it a bit easier to continue a conversation with them.
You can also compliment them on non-physical things btw. Let’s say you’re attending a presentation and you want to connect with one of the speakers afterwards. You could approach them and mention something you really liked from their speech. This is a great way to compliment them and show that you actually retained something from what they were saying.
2. Ask questions
Asking questions is another great way to strike up a convo with someone.
It can be a bit daunting especially if your questions sound a bit random but you could go about it in different ways.
You could ask for directions or details about an event/place you’re looking for.
This is a good one to use on a college campus for example, if you can’t find your class. Who knows? The person who helps you might actually be going in the same direction and this can be the start of a beautiful friendship for you guys!
You could also ask for help with something you are struggling with (for ex: at a grocery store if you want more information about a product or you need help reaching something).
Depending on the event, you could also just be spontaneous and come up with some funny questions to ask people and have a laugh. This is one of my favs.
It might take them by surprise but hopefully, they play along. If not, on to the next! If you need some inspiration, check out my post on funny random questions to ask your friends to have a laugh. They also work with strangers!
3. Just say hey!
Sometimes, it’s as simple as that.
You don’t need some big fancy plan to catch another person’s attention.
Just walk up to them, say hi, introduce yourself and see where the conversation goes from there.
You also shouldn’t be afraid to be honest.
If you’re at a party for example and you’re trying to talk to people, you can be honest and light-hearted and let them know that you’re trying to meet people, you’re a bit nervous but they seemed like the least scary person to talk to.
This kind of honesty is refreshing and will make people instantly warm up to you.
And you never know, maybe they’re in the exact same boat as you!
4. Offer to help them with something
If someone picks your interest, observe them a little bit first (not in a creepy way!) and see if there’s something they’re struggling with that you could help them with.
Maybe they seem a little lost.
Maybe they are struggling to find something at a store.
See how you could be “of service” to them and offer them your help. This is a perfect, not-necessarily-awkward excuse to talk to them.
5. Focus on the excitement, not fear of rejection
I know it can be terrifying to make the first move to talk to someone you want to get to know.
But what has helped me is focusing on the excitement of it all.
Back in college, when I saw people who seemed interesting and that I wanted to befriend, I was so excited to talk to them, the fear honestly didn’t even occur to me.
Granted, it was college and most people feel very social during that time.
But still.
Sure I was a bit nervous about what to say but again I was just so excited and curious and open-minded about making new friends!
So if you can relate to this a little bit, I encourage you to romanticize the process of starting conversations with strangers.
Imagine the person smiling at you and being so excited to talk to you. Picture the both of you finding a bunch of things you have in common and having engaging conversations about them. See yourself leaving the conversation feeling very proud of yourself for overcoming your nerves, sharing a good talk with someone and maybe even having made a new friend
All this “imagining” might sound a bit delulu to some people but I LIVE in delulu land so this is nothing new for me lol!
I hope the tips above make it a bit less scary for you to go out and talk to new people. I believe in you!
